Friday, April 23, 2004
T Minus 106
Through the centuries man has developed and progressed to the highest levels of social etiquette and class. Most people are loath to be labeled rude or self-centred. However, that has of yet not penetrated bathroom behaviour. Specifically, those individuals who walk straight from the urinals to the door. We can see you. We notice those hands swipe across the walls and handles. Keep those hands off our walls and back in your pockets. ARGH!
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Through the centuries man has developed and progressed to the highest levels of social etiquette and class. Most people are loath to be labeled rude or self-centred. However, that has of yet not penetrated bathroom behaviour. Specifically, those individuals who walk straight from the urinals to the door. We can see you. We notice those hands swipe across the walls and handles. Keep those hands off our walls and back in your pockets. ARGH!
Thursday, April 22, 2004
T Minus 107
Long Live Liquids
I don't have wisdom teeth. Lucky me since everyone I know is getting them out. Why have I been spared the chipmunk face and that attractive jaundice hue? Conclusion: I have evolved. Those wisdom teeth are going the way of the wooly mammoth, because we are no longer a species who rely on their teeth but rather swallow their calorie intake in quasi-liquid form. People don't eat apples anymore but instead slurp it out of a tube. Why eat breakfast when you can gulp it from a can. Bah, teeth, they're overrated.
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Long Live Liquids
I don't have wisdom teeth. Lucky me since everyone I know is getting them out. Why have I been spared the chipmunk face and that attractive jaundice hue? Conclusion: I have evolved. Those wisdom teeth are going the way of the wooly mammoth, because we are no longer a species who rely on their teeth but rather swallow their calorie intake in quasi-liquid form. People don't eat apples anymore but instead slurp it out of a tube. Why eat breakfast when you can gulp it from a can. Bah, teeth, they're overrated.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
T Minus 108
Beware the Cushion, for She is Unworthy
I must say the worst invention ever in household furniture, or decour if you would like, would have to be the melding of the couch and the toilet. Personally, I find it revolting to sit on upholstery that would be more fitting to sleep on. The sink-down feeling is not something I would like to experience while in the bathroom. Nor do I understand why someone would let the possiblity of carpet burn occur over there.
But the worst part is you don't know what happened yesterday to the contraption. Infection- likely, sweat - most probable. And I doubt the perpetrator sprayed it with anti-septic or drano after their crime. When I go hunt for a spouse and if I find a cushioned toilet-seat in her house I am out. Call me old-fashioned but I'm going to stick with the hard seat that at least gives the impression its impervious to previous owners' forgotten surprises.
I imagine it was invented by some single guy who took the idea of the "throne-room" a little bit too literally.
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Beware the Cushion, for She is Unworthy
I must say the worst invention ever in household furniture, or decour if you would like, would have to be the melding of the couch and the toilet. Personally, I find it revolting to sit on upholstery that would be more fitting to sleep on. The sink-down feeling is not something I would like to experience while in the bathroom. Nor do I understand why someone would let the possiblity of carpet burn occur over there.
But the worst part is you don't know what happened yesterday to the contraption. Infection- likely, sweat - most probable. And I doubt the perpetrator sprayed it with anti-septic or drano after their crime. When I go hunt for a spouse and if I find a cushioned toilet-seat in her house I am out. Call me old-fashioned but I'm going to stick with the hard seat that at least gives the impression its impervious to previous owners' forgotten surprises.
I imagine it was invented by some single guy who took the idea of the "throne-room" a little bit too literally.
